I've learned to listen more, talk less; to share what I love, not focus on things I don't; to face the fear instead of avoiding it; to ask questions when I'm uncertain rather than worrying about what I don't know; to take chances; to be patient; to show others compassion and love; to express myself in new and fun ways. I am a completely different person than I was a year ago, and even more so than I was ten years ago. And I'm really happy about that :)
But one area that still needs some work is in the way I think others view me. I know I shouldn't be worried about what other people think or say about me...but the truth is, I do. I often find myself asking these questions: Will others be mad at me? Did I offend them or hurt their feelings? Are they talking about me? If so, why? What did I do? And the truth is, it's hard to be yourself openly when there are people out there who look for ways to bring you down, ways to hurt you, or make you feel bad about yourself. Those situations are awkward and uncomfortable and I end up wondering why I even put myself in that position in the first place.
It's true we all make mistakes. And I'm working on forgiving myself for the ones I have made. But it's also true we can only change ourselves. Reflecting today gave me the opportunity to realize I have, and in doing so have a lot to be proud of and thankful for. I am still learning on this journey and will continue to grow and change as I move along. That's okay and it makes me feel good to say it here.
To those of you who have stood by me through thick and thin, thank you. I'm not a perfect person, nor will I ever be. But I'm doing everything I can to be the best mother, wife, daughter, sister, and friend I can be. And that has to be good enough, not for everyone else, but for me...
3 comments:
I totally understand where you're coming from. I think some of us are just born with a sensitive gene that makes us take things personally or worry more or whatever the case may be. I really love this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt though, “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” I remind myself of that whenever I am feeling self-conscious. If people aren't interested enough in their own lives that they find the need to bring others down, sad for them. You are a beautiful person inside and out.
A few things I've learned:
1. What matters is how you view yourself. I realize that this isn't easier said that done.
2. Sometimes, when you are worried about how others view you, you are jumping to irrational "what-ifs." For example, if you are feeling this about your new job- that is not fair to yourself. You are not basing this worry on anything realistic.
3. My approach in dealing with my ever present worry of what others think... Ask yourself WHY they aren't happy with you/don't agree, etc. Process THAT bit of info. If they have a valid reason, perhaps knowing that, and maybe addressing it, will help you grow. If their reason is not valid, agree to disagree and don't look at it as a battle you have to win.
Just some of my thoughts from experience. I'm working on the same hurdle!
Love ya girl!
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