Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Grandma, we love you...

Love. There really is no way to explain how it makes us feel; happy, warm, liked, comfortable.
I seem to be stuck in this rain storm of life and struggling to find my way out.  I am emotional, exhausted, and sad.  And the other day on my way to work, after praying for my grandma, and my family, and the toll that everyday life has taken on us all, a song came on that I hadn't heard in a while.  It was uplifting, inspiring, and had a powerful affect on me and my emotions.  I just broke down.

Please watch this and really listen to the lyrics: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZbTy5NoCck

Truth is, "love is unstoppable".  You can do anything you put your mind to, overcome any obstacle in your way, or weather the storm passing through as long as you have the support of those who care about and love you.

Today was a sad day.  But with love, we can get through this together.  Grandma, we love you...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Still "weathering the storm"...

The weather was perfect on Friday, not too bad yesterday, but just plain depressing today.  I did, however, manage to spend some well deserved quality time with "my Caylee".  If it takes cold, rainy weather for her to cuddle up next to me on the couch, I'll take it anyday.  I sure do love her.  Still ready for the rain to stop though, in more ways than one...

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it. ~Anonymous

I often wonder how some people manage to lend a helping hand to others in need, accomplish their own tasks, and still have time to enjoy the wonderful moments/things in life without feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, exhausted, and on the verge of a breakdown.  Right now, I am at a place in my work-life where I am very grateful of the help from others, but I often feel guilty that others are going out of their way to make my life easier because I just can't do the same in return.  It feels like I'm struggling to keep my head above the water and for some reason saying "thank you" just doesn't seem like enough. When I get to this place, I have a hard time "letting go" of the guilt.  It affects my mood, my attitude, my productivity.  For those of you who have found this balance, I am looking for some advice here.  I seem to have lost mine and need to find it again...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Without the rain, there would be no rainbow ~Gilbert K. Chersterton

Been stuck in the house with a sick daughter the last couple of days.  I love the cuddling, but hate that she has to be sick to want it.  Anyway, after a LONG day in the house, I finally put her to bed and started watching a show that made me laugh 'til my stomach hurt...just what I needed to put that happiness feeling back in my life.  Sooooo ready to feel the calm of this storm that is passing through...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, time is passing on the clock...

I feel like I am running out of time.  Now that I'm back in school and thinking about one thing or another all the time, it has been harder to read my books, focus on positive thoughts, and well, really feel good and happy.  Lately, I just feel like I'm so rushed for time and it's hard to stop and enjoy special moments.  I'm worrying about this or that, feeling frustrated about one thing or another, and trying to keep a house clean, spend time with family, and take on extra projects at school.  I need to get back to that place where I'm happy, carefree, and at peace in my life.  Instead stress, lack of sleep, and constant thinking has regained control.  Today, I am ridding myself of it once again.  And tonight, my head will be in the books as I search for the light I have seen before...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive."~ Anais Nin

I am truly thankful for the friendships I have.  Everyday I feel blessed for those that have come into my life; who have offered support, a listening ear, good advice, lifted me up when I was down, and helped me "Dream Big" (a song I recently heard by Ryan Shupe and the RubberBand...seriously, if you haven't heard it, please listen to it).  You have changed me in more ways than you will ever know...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end ~Dan Wilson

Been praying about a problem I have been working through for a LONG time, and last night had a breakthrough.  Still working to find an end to it, but the fact that I understand it gives me hope that there will be one and a new beginning soon...

Monday, September 12, 2011

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity, but in doing it. ~Greg Anderson

A few weeks into the school year and the excitement has worn off, routine has set in, and the dread of feeling overwhelmed, overworked, and exhausted has overcome me.  Even the kids are feeling it as the first round of strep throat has taken over my classroom.  Now, more than ever, I need to stop and "smell the roses".  Sometimes I get so wrapped up in life; I make too many checklists, I take on too many tasks, I look for ways to make a problem harder than it is.  Then, I feel bogged down, stressed out, and exhausted.  And that leads to feelings of guilt, worry, fear, and what-if's.  Life starts spinning out of control; I panic, I argue, I get irritated with others, and frustrated at myself.  Sometimes, I just need to be reminded to "stop and smell the roses".  It's not about what needs to get done, how much I have to do, or how hard the problem is, it's about enjoying every moment along the way.  Instead of letting all of the above get the best of me, I need to stop; breathe in the beauty around me; smile; and enjoy the journey...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Sigh...and remember

Had so much fun yesterday hangin' with my hubby; laughing in the golf cart, learning how to swing a club (and missing several times), just enjoying each other's company.  Now looking forward to relaxing with the family; windows open, chili going, hoodie and jeans on, autumn candle burning.  What a great weekend this has been! 

It's times like these that make me thankful for the things I have, the people I love, and the life I've been given.  Many thoughts and prayers for those reliving the horrific events of that day ten years ago and those that lost their lives in this tragedy.  God Bless America...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

“Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, and you fight to let go.” – The Wonder Years

I have learned so much about myself while on this journey of life: I like to be in control; I like for things to go my way; I like to do things, go places, and be with people that make me feel comfortable; I hate confrontation; I am scared of the unknown; I have many fears about life, about what other people think, about death; I am a good friend; a loving wife and mother; a hard worker; and someone who has many hopes and dreams for the future.  I believe I have made many changes in myself, my attitude, my relationships, my life.  And though I am learning to love and accept who I am, sometimes it isn't easy.  I want so badly for others to understand and accept me, my feelings, my thoughts.  I want them to show me love by being kind and respectful with words and actions. I want to feel comfortable around them, happy, and worry free.  I wish I could snap my fingers and have it all fall into place. Too bad change isn't that easy...

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Dear God:

Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Amen.

Lately, I have been dealing with a range of emotions regarding many different things taking place in my life.  And although doctors have reassured me they are taking care of me and my condition, my job has become extremely enjoyable, and my time off has been packed with family, friends, and fun, I still find myself worrying about things that are out of my control.  This prayer written by Reinhold Niebuhr reminds me that I am not the one in control, God is.  He will give me peace, courage, wisdom, and will help me overcome troublesome moments, situations, or days...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The moment may be TEMPORARY, but the memory is FOREVER ~Bud Meyer

Taking a break from my blog for the weekend to enjoy the time off, my family, and some of the last days with the boat for the season.  I have had a great week and feel happy.  I loved reconnecting with old friends; I have missed having them in my life.  I am excited about the year ahead of me at school.  The kids are great and my team is so flexible and supportive; I love that I don't leave school feeling overwhelmed, upset, and unhappy.  And most important, I am excited about spending some well deserved quality time with Caylee and Chad.  I can't wait to make new memories with them doing whatever we decide to do; watching football, going boating, even cleaning house!  There's always something to laugh about when we're doing all of the above.  This weekend I'm going to ENJOY each moment as we MAKE new memories...