Thursday, May 31, 2012

breathing the world in...

It's been a busy, but fun week!  Caylee and I have spent a lot of quality time together enjoying the outdoors, our home, and each other.  I have also been able to accomplish a few tasks that were in great need of some attention.  My office now really feels like a cozy workspace and I'm anxious to complete our front yard landscaping project.  

I came across this quote today in my inbox and wanted to take some time to reflect on it.  I have been working on letting go of some of the control I like to have over things in my life.  I'm practicing enjoying each day!  When something happens that I wish wouldn't have or that I want to go back and change, instead of dwelling on it, trying to fix it, or worrying how others feel about it, I'm choosing to move forward. That's tough at times!  I'd rather defend myself, try to get others to understand me or my point of view, get mad.  But the truth is, that's only going to cause me more stress, give me less time to enjoy my day, and cause more problems than I started with.  This quote is so true.  Things will happen. I have no control over other people, but I do have control over myself, my actions, and my reactions.  I won't let those things I have no control over, control my life.  The purpose of the good and bad is to teach me; to show what I need to work on, to share what I'm doing well, and to push me to take risks to make myself better.

I'm thoroughly enjoying my summer!  No more shutting out the world, instead breathing the world in...

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Thank you God for answering my prayer :)

It's been a LONG time since my last post.  So much has been accomplished since then, probably too many things to mention here.

Caylee and Chad are both sleeping and I'm happy to share that tonight, I'm finally feeling the sense of relief I have been waiting for; school is out, summer is here, and there's a ton of fun to be had!  In fact, I feel like we packed a summer's worth of events in the last few days.  From a fun-filled day on the lake Friday, pool and parties on Saturday, and enjoying the blow-up "waterpark" with the neighbors today!  It's a great feeling to know I can sleep in tomorrow, wake up and enjoy my coffee, then do whatever I want whenever I'm ready.  No obligations or plans, just relaxing and going wherever the day takes me. 

I've had so much fun with Caylee lately!  She truly is amazing and I can't believe how fast she is growing up.  She surprises me daily with her comments, songs, stories, and our special conversations.   She tells me all the time that she loves me and says, "hey mom, you are my best friend".  I love that.  I know there may come a day where the words she says to me are quite the opposite, but for now, I want to savor the moments we share happily together.  She really does know how to make my heart smile :)

I am looking forward to a relaxing week; accomplishing a few must-do's, spending some time outdoors, enjoying quality time with my fam, and taking the time to really feel the happiness that's in my heart...

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Thank you Kelli :)

The last few days have been gorgeous and it has been so nice to be outside; enjoying the fresh air, spending time with my family, having fun with friends.  I'm so sad to see the weekend coming to a close :(  

The last few weeks I have had a ton of anxiety; too many tests, my to-do list keeps growing, frustration with others, constant interruptions, the what-ifs for next year! The list could go on and on.  I keep trying to calm myself down by telling myself not to worry; it will all get done, take deep breaths, pray about it, but inside...I'm PANICKING!

Today, a friend shared some thoughts that really made me think:
"I like nights that end in the company of dear friends. I like swapping stories & looking others in the eye & getting beyond small talk. I like the reminder that in the midst of the day to day we can celebrate where we are today, not the past, not the future, the pleasant present." ~Kelli Curtis

These words really got to me. I have truly enjoyed this weekend with my family and friends and in the "pleasant present" felt really good.  Sometimes I get so caught up in the what has been and the what will be that I ruin all those good feelings I'm having in the right now!  I let the guilt, the fear, the panic overcome me.  I constantly question myself and my decisions.  

So, thank you Kelli :) For reminding me that it is good to be in the company of good friends; who love you, and care about you, and accept you just the way you are...flaws and all.  For reminding me that REALLY getting to know someone requires me to go beyond the small talk and the gossip I sometimes get caught up in.  For reminding me that all relationships require TRUST, from both parties.  But MOST IMPORTANTLY, that I should be CELEBRATING; who I've become, where I am RIGHT NOW, and all that I've accomplished on this journey!  It's time to let go of the past, trust in the steps ahead, and enjoy this "pleasant present"...

Monday, May 7, 2012

Oh, the sound of the rain...

Oh, the sound of the rain...

I am completely exhausted as I sit here writing this post.  But the sound of the rain is so calming.  Something I haven't felt in a few weeks.

The days go by so quickly; too much to do, too little time.

I am hopeful the things that need to get done will, but feel very overwhelmed with the amount of work left to do before school ends.  There's no time to enjoy the last few weeks with these children who I have gotten to know, who have grown so much this year, and who truly love spending their days with me.  Instead, I rush to get through what I can, then sit in the hall with one student at a time, and test.  It's frustrating.

I pray for a change everyday.  I know God has a plan for me, but sometimes it's hard being patient!

I have accomplished many great things in the past few weeks, but I've not actually had any time to sit back, relax, and take them all in.  

I'm going to list them here:

  • Many fears overcome
  • Business and Bank account set up
  • Contract signed with publisher/book should be ready in about 8 weeks!
  • First 4 weeks of INSANITY...DONE! 
  • Completed my first half marathon-walked 13.1 miles!  
  • Almost made it through my first year with 28 kindergarten friends
  • I have a new love for myself, my husband, my daughter, and our time together.  

Going to take some time to let it all sink in and say a little prayer that the calm of this rain will bring me the peace, comfort, and joy I have been longing for...


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

:)


All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them. ~Walt Disney

Today is a happy day :) Many thanks to my grandpa, Christy Vance, Chad, and my family and friends for your support! The contract has been signed and we are well on our way to making this dream a reality! So exciting...I can't wipe the smile off my face :)...