Monday, November 10, 2014

Face it...and then you'll make it!

To start off, I'm going to take you back a bit, almost six years to be exact.  This is when I found out that I had an aortic aneurysm and would at some point in my life need open heart surgery...or according to my first labor and delivery nurse that thing she "hoped didn't burst on my watch".

Okay, okay, I know most of you have already heard this story several times, so I'll make it short and sweet.  I have an aneurysm on my aorta, I have a leaky valve, and I will need open heart surgery to fix both.  When? Who knows!  I get echocardiograms, CT scans, etc. twice a year and meet with a doctor to check the size and status.  Once I hit the "risk of surgery is less than the risk of leaving it be" mark, they'll suggest it.  Until then, I wait...

Imagine that.  Waiting for someone to tell you they will need to put you under, stop your heart, crack your chest open, and fix it...all the while praying the thing doesn't rupture and you bleed out while taking your daughter to the mall or the park or whatever!

Stress much?  Yep.

Truth be told, up until recently I had a pretty good handle on it.  I spent my days laughing with and loving on my family, enjoying my free time, and creating pieces to share with others.  It seemed the sun was shining brightly on my life, on my path, and the days ahead seemed bright as well.

And then, it happened.  The storm came.  It blew through heavy and rough...dark clouds, cold rain, gusty winds.  Each time I thought it was letting up, it came back to hit me even harder, even darker, and so much scarier.

Then all at once, the rain stopped...the skies cleared...the sun returned.  And there I stood.  Unsure of what to do, where to go.  My path was gone in an instant and fear overtook me.  I began to feel overly emotional, worried, afraid, stressed out, overwhelmed...all the negatives I had worked so hard to eliminate from my life.  They were back and working in full force.

That is until now.  I've reached the point where I'm tired of giving in, being the victim to these negatives that have creeped back into my life.  And I'm doing something about it...writing here for one!  The storm made me lose hope...but I have found it once again and I'm ready to move forward.

I'm not sure I know where I'm going...and that's okay.  I do know that in order for any of it to work, I have to take care of myself first: mind, body, and spirit.  So that's what I'm doing...reflecting, adding back healthy eating and exercise, and doing a little soul searching. Think I'm finally ready for a new adventure!






Sunday, November 2, 2014

Speaking the truth is hard; sharing your own truth is harder.

I have to start this post by saying thank you to Devin Watson for his creativity and willingness to work with me.  The design of this blog is absolutely perfect!  


It’s been a while since I’ve experienced the mix of emotions I’ve felt over the past month or two.  So much that has happened…too much to wrap my head around all at once…and with not much time left to grieve, to feel sad, to cry, to be angry, I feel myself slipping into this shell.  I’m not living, I’m merely surviving day to day…going back to habits and behaviors from my past, allowing myself to think too much, feel the fear of those thoughts, and worry about what or where they might take me.  I’m lost. I’m scared. I’m sad. And I’m trying to pick up the pieces.

This is where I’d like to say I know how to do this.  I’ve been here before. I’ve got it all under control. Ha! This is also where I’d insert an inspirational quote, with an image, for a friend. I’d share my experiences and offer advice. But I know that won’t help me right now because I’ve pinned many “good reminders” lately and saved lots of quotes from facebook to my phone.  Yep, still here!

I keep telling myself this is part of the plan.  I don’t have to understand it right now, I just have to get through it…which makes me think about “not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning how to dance in the rain”.  That’s all fine and dandy.  I like to dance in the rain…but right now, I’m so lost, in such a hurry to get someplace other than here, I don’t even notice it’s raining.  Trusting the process…not easy.  Being patient…even harder, especially in the dark.

So…I decided the best thing to do was to start writing about it.  Last time I was here, well not here, here, but here as in feeling this way, I started blogging about my life…sharing my story.  And I figure if I want to empower young women to grow on their journey, they may as well get to know me and the journey I am on too. 

Which brings me to the last paragraph of this post.  The idea for this blog is to encourage and empower women of all ages to be who we are always.  To accomplish this, I’ll be bringing you some of my life’s funniest, scariest, grandest moments, along with sharing lessons I’ve learned (or I’m still learning) and links to information on these ‘blooming topics’.  Hope you will follow along, ask questions, share your thoughts, or even request a topic or storyline.

Already seeing a glimmer of light…



Friday, August 8, 2014

"What I know for sure is this: You are built not to shrink down to less, but to BLOSSOM into more. To be more splendid. To be more extraordinary. To use every moment to fill yourself up." ~Oprah Winfrey

Thinking back on my journey and the length of time it's taken me to "blossom into more" truly gives me chills. It is my hope to inspire young women for generations to come to believe in themselves, to follow their heart, and to take risks...even those that are a little scary.  I have become more than I ever could have imagined by doing just that.  'The path of each blossom' will be different, but that is what makes it exciting!

More information about upcoming workshops coming soon!

Do you have a favorite quote, a story you'd like to share, an idea for a workshop, or would you like to be a guest blogger?  Share with me under the "What's blooming in your world?" tab on the right sidebar :-)

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

It was one year ago that I decided to step away from my job....
It was a huge leap of faith. I had no idea where the jump would lead me, whether I would survive the fall only to sink to the bottom, or if I would come up gasping for air looking for land.  But it was important for me to take the leap for so many reasons.  One being to stand up for and to speak out about what I believe in. There have been ups and downs.  Times when the water has pushed me to the falls and I could feel myself treading hard to stay afloat. In the midst of it all, I continue to learn more about who I am and care less about what others think of that.  I continue to follow my heart and by the grace of God have found joy in swimming down stream, taking on new adventures as they come!

And here I am today...alive and well (as Dave Matthews Band would say).

I keep swimming along, allowing gates to open and close as they please, knowing this is part of God's plan and accepting that I am where I'm meant to be, doing what I'm meant to do.  The next adventure is no different.  I'm excited...and nervous...a little scared...but hopeful!  All emotions I've allowed myself to feel deeply and take in because...tomorrow is not guaranteed...opportunities come (and go, if you let them)...life is meant to be enjoyed and shared with those that you love.

It was one year ago that I stepped away from my job...
The leap has lead me to places I never would have imagined going.  I am truly grateful for every experience, every challenge, every person I've met...and for every new adventure along the way.

Couldn't wait to share that I've been invited to attend the TeamCFA Annual Conference in Phoenix!
As well as may have found a potential partner for my "Path of a Blossom" empowering young women workshop series.
I am flooded with emotion as I think about these adventures and all the possibilities before me <3


Videos were filmed by our amazing videographer Matt Panfil!

Thursday, May 8, 2014

waiting on butterflies...!!!

Sitting here, drinking coffee, listening to the birds chirp, thinking about "the plan" that seems to be unfolding...slowly, but surely.

Over the next few weeks, you should start seeing some changes to this blog...and to the website!

As I am creating pieces and preparing for shows, I have two unbelievably talented designers working behind the scenes...transforming my vision into reality!!!

I'll be posting more as we get closer to the unveiling, so make sure you've 'liked' my Flowers on Footprints facebook page as well as hovered over the like button and clicked 'get notifications'!


Upcoming Events:

May 10th-Alternative Gift Fair: 10-4, The Irving Theater
May 14th-RAW Indianapolis presents SPECTRUM: 7-11 PM, Old National
                Centre Egyptian Room
May 17th-Reading and book signing: Noon, books & brews
*flier-Devin Watson~http://www.design-watson.com/






*Devin Watson~http://www.design-watson.com/






































Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Did you say it?

'[Doctors] spend a lot of time focused on the future, planning it, working toward it. But at some point you start to realize your life is happening now. Not after [med school], not after [residency], right now. This is it. It’s here. Blink and you’ll miss it.' ~Meredith Grey

Since the beginning, I have been an avid watcher of Grey's Anatomy.  I can't ever seem to get enough!  I watch re-runs on the lifetime channel, re-watch seasons at a time on DVD, NEVER miss a new weekly episode. Over time, the characters and show itself has changed immensely...but one thing that still remains is the narration or "voice-over" at the beginning and end of the show.  It's the piece that leads you into the episode and that sums it all up at the end.  It's a very powerful piece to the show and one of the reasons I am compelled to continue watching.

Last night, we got word that, after a long battle with ALS, a family friend took his last breath.  It took me back to the days of taking care of my grandpa at home with the help of hospice.  It's heart-breaking to even go there; the exhaustion, the fear, the constant sick-to-your stomach feeling, wanting to do something-anything to see him alive and well again.

And when I go there, it's hard to keep my thoughts/emotions from running all over the place.  (Which is where this whole "Grey's Anatomy voice-over" comes in.)  While brushing my teeth last night, my thoughts went to the Season 5 finale...Izzie is battling cancer, John Doe becomes George, Meredith gets married on a post-it... and we are left with Greg Laswell's Off I Go and these last words:

'Did you say it? "I love you. I don't ever want to live without you. You changed my life." Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it, but every now and then, look around. Drink it in 'cause this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow.' ~Meredith Grey

I'll be busy working in my studio today; finishing orders, working on pieces to re-stock shops.  But then I'm taking some time off for myself; to tell others I love them, to hold them close, to let them know they've "changed my life", to "drink it ALL in".  
My heart is telling me I need to do this and I have faith that this is part of God's plan for me <3
I'll be back May 1st...until then----->Love More...Fear Less.
~Nicole
P.S. For those of you interested in watching the last 5 minutes of the episode, the link is here.


Wednesday, February 12, 2014

My "Fear-Less" Collection

It's been good to see the sun the last few days and I'm thrilled to hear the temp might actually reach 50 next week!  Yes, my windows will be open and I'll be enjoying every second of that fresh air :-)

For several weeks, I've been in a funk :-( At first, I thought it was the weather...the bitter cold, all the snow, being stuck indoors.  I was missing the sunshine and the fresh air and I was feeling defeated in a few areas.

I've met so many fabulous business owners and artisans/artists over the past year.  I'm so thankful for the experiences and relationships I have with them.  I consider them family and honestly don't know if I would have made it this far without them.  We dream together, share ideas, show support for one another, and so much more.

It reminds me of what I enjoyed most about being a teacher.  My students and their families, along with my colleagues...we were a family.  We not only worked together to provide a quality education for young people, we collaborated and planned together so that our children could learn about life, could have experiences that would teach them how to react in certain situations, would know how to feel AND show love/compassion to others.  When I began, it wasn't a competition for "best teacher", the "highest number on the rubric", the "best score on the test".  It was about loving and caring for children, working together to make the world come alive to them, and helping them explore and find their passion for life.  

There was a PURPOSE...not an objective.
COLLABORATION...not competition.
PASSION...instead of fear.

In honor of that seemingly long ago time, I'll be adding this "Fear-Less" collection to my Storenvy shop tomorrow. Is there a word you are looking for?  Leave me a comment below!  I'll be adding more to this collection over the next few weeks.

Hoping the funk has left the building and the creative juices are ready to flow once more!  Got some bigger (different) life dreams and goals to work towards ;-)




  

Friday, January 10, 2014

Excited for New Beginnings!

It's been a wonderful few weeks spent with family and friends, breathing in love and life, sharing special moments, and making memories to last a lifetime.<3  Yes, I am very, very blessed.

This new year has brought about many new beginnings for Flowers on Footprints!
One of them is a new online store!!!  I have made an exciting decision to close my Etsy shop and re-open using Storenvy.  I think you will find the new store easy to navigate.  The site is fantastic and is a perfect fit for the philosophy of Flowers on Footprints.
For now, the online link on my website is currently under construction, so you can access the store on my Facebook Page by clicking on the "STORE" button next to "photos" or directly at http://flowersonfootprints.storenvy.com/

For the moment, I'm waiting with anticipation to hear back from several people/places who could possibly help me take the next step on this journey.  Not sure if any of them will come to fruition, but having the hope that one of them will turn into something great makes me feel really excited!!!

I've also decided to pick up subbing for a bit!  We'll see how that goes :-)

AND I'm excitedly planning a very loooooooong getaway in a few months...with both of our families...sun, sand, water, and family!  What could be better?!?

I've got several new pieces of metal, leather bracelets, and stamping blanks calling my name!  Next week, I'll be in the studio working to create lovely new pieces and will be spending the following weeks getting them into stores!  I'll definitely keep you posted as I can't wait to share them :-)

That's all (whew that was A LOT) for now!  Hope to see your bright and shining faces soon!

~Peace and love always,
  Nicole <3