"If you can't change it, you might as well let it go" Zac Brown Band

Zac Brown says it best in one of my favorite songs, "Save your strength for things that you can change, forget the ones you can't, you gotta let 'em go."  I have been trying my whole life to make changes: in other people, for other people, at my job, to the world.  But the one thing I wasn't trying to change was me.  I thought if EVERYONE else would change, EVERYTHING in my life would be different.  Problem is, I found out I can't change anyone but myself...and that was the only thing that wasn't changing.  So, I started on this journey.  I had to get to know myself, my fears, my hopes, my dreams. I had to learn to take control of my life.  That change wouldn't happen unless I put myself out there, tried new things, took some risks, and felt uncomfortable every once in a while.  I also had to learn to "let go" of a lot of things, which was the hardest part for me.  As the summer ends, I am hopeful that this year ahead of me will be different, because I am.  I am "saving my strength" for when I need it, making "changes" where I can, and "letting everything else go". Well, I hope to anyway...

To My Husband:

I'm not sure I can ever put into words how much I appreciate and love you.  You do so much everyday to take care of me and Caylee.  None of it goes unnoticed.  I am thankful that you are a strong, independent, fun-to-be-around guy who puts family and friends first always.  I am excited about the new relationship we are building together and have enjoyed every moment we have spent doing things as a family.  You are a wonderful husband, an excellent father, and I am so happy to be sharing my life with you.  When I look back on where I've been and what it took for me to get through it all, I'm reminded of a Rascal Flatts song: "God bless the broken road that led me straight to you"...

...SMILE

So today didn't turn out the way you thought it would; it's ok...SMILE
Motivate yourself to do something unusual; when you do it...SMILE
Imagine what it would feel like to be carefree; ahhhhhhh...SMILE
Let go of everything you fear; dream big and...SMILE
Each of us are unique individuals who have so much to contribute to our community and world; be proud of yourself and your accomplishments...SMILE

Reminder to Self:

Spent today trying to enjoy the last free moments of summer break.  Next week it's back to the grind at work: setting up my classroom, meeting new students and their families, collaborating with the team. And though I am looking forward to the challenges that will come with a new team, a new grade level, a new year,  I couldn't help but feel sad that the time with my family will soon be limited: less time with each other in the mornings, no playing at home during the day in our pj's, no staying up late to watch our favorite show after Caylee FINALLY goes to sleep.  I was bummed out all day until I sat down to write this post.  Writing reminds me of that new person I am becoming; the one who worries less and doesn't take everything so seriously; the one who takes on the challenge or fear rather than avoiding it; the one who says I am not going to let one little thought, or feeling, or incident ruin the rest of my day, my week, my year.  Instead of worrying about going back to school, dreading summer break being over, and packing as many things as I can into the next few days, I am reminding myself to enjoy this moment, this day, the people around me.  Yes, I like that feeling much better...

Whew! What a Day...

In my recent posts, I have written about overcoming my fears, taking on new adventures, and enjoying the beauty of the world around me.  Today, I did all three.  I spoke my fears out loud to my peers, I zip-lined off a three story building (AND LIVED!), and I enjoyed the calming breeze as it moved through the trees.  I like the new person I am becoming, the new risks that I have been willing to take, and the joy that I have finally let into my life. I feel proud of myself and my accomplishments.  Whew!  What a day...

Thank you God

Today was one of those low key days; stayed in my pj's, chatted with an old friend, played at home with my daughter.  I didn't do much at all, but enjoyed myself thoroughly without fear, guilt, or shame.  We all need days like this once in awhile.  Thank you God for giving me this day...

Deep breaths; a smile; the feeling of happiness.

A friend of mine just shared some pictures on facebook of her recent trip to Portugal.  The pictures themselves were breathtaking, so I can't wait to hear what it was like to be there in person.  I can only imagine myself being there breathing in the fresh air, with a smile on my face, feeling like the happiest person in the world.  IMAGINE...is the key word here. And it started me thinking.  Though I wish I were one of those people, like my friends, who travel to far away places, exploring the land, taking on new adventures, and creating exciting memories with the ones they love, I am not. Anyone who knows me (and I mean REALLY KNOWS ME) knows I have a hard enough time leaving my family (daughter or husband) for longer than a two hour period and that spending one night away from them, on the same continent, makes me a nervous wreck!  So the fact of the matter is, though I would like to do those things, I can only IMAGINE them.  However, I have recently written about my own journey, the path I am on, and the new experiences I am having.  And though I am still living and breathing in the same places I have always been, I am enjoying life in a new and different way.  I notice the world around me: the beautiful day; the love of my family; supportive friends; places I never knew existed.  Bottom line is: no matter where you are, life can be breathtaking.  Look around you, take a deep breath, smile, and enjoy that feeling of happiness...