Monday, September 21, 2015

The Waiting--is the hardest part. ~Tom Petty

So I made it through the cardiac MRI.  The waiting beforehand was hard.  There were lots of deep breaths..and a few tears...a small panic attack...and then A LOT of me telling myself I can do this.

BUT..the WAITING!

Ah!  I feel like I get more information...then I wait.  

So here's the scoop:
Cardiac MRI showed the aneurysm is bigger than we originally thought (5.1 cm).  We discussed my options and decided to send my records to Cleveland Clinic where my dad had the same surgery 10 years ago.  We were expecting a few weeks to go by before hearing back from them for a consult appointment.  However, they called Friday evening to say there is an urgency for surgery because of the growth rate and wanted me to schedule surgery then and there.  My insurance requires approval to go out of network, so scheduling Friday evening was not an option.   I had to wait all weekend to talk to my doctors here about next steps.  Now I'm waiting for calls back from both nurses here and there--for insurance and to schedule a date.  

Waiting--it's so hard!

I feel like there is so much to do...and so little time.  And I'm wasting time by worrying and waiting.  I know if this was happening to someone else, I would be sending texts with inspirational quotes and bible verses...hoping to encourage them, offer support, remind them of their strength.  But I can't seem to get out of my own head.  The what-if's--the unknowns--the urgency of it all.  I'm driving myself crazy!  I'm not sleeping well.  I'm eating horribly.  And I am extremely emotional. 

AND THIS WAITING!  It's excruciating.

I'll keep you posted as we get more information.  So thankful for my family and friends...the hugs, the thinking of you gifts, and the all around support and prayers.  Still trying to talk myself into this.  Tell myself that I can do this.  And I don't really have a choice.  Now just praying that He will take the wheel--He will lead me down this scary road--and that this isn't the end of my story--that He isn't done with me yet.

Click HERE to learn more about my surgery.

Modified David Procedure is what we are hoping they can do to repair my valve, instead of replacing. Click the above link to learn more.  It is also our hope that Dr. Svensson will be doing the surgery.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Nichole,
You're Mother sent me your page site and asked me to be praying for you. Not sure if you remember me. This is Emily Maier (now Smith). Melissa's Maier's (now Johnson's) younger sister.
I have been praying for you so much today. I can't even begin to understand all you are going through. I want to jump though this computer and just hug you and pray with you. Remember, God will give you strength for this battle you are facing, wisdom for every decision and peace that surpasses all understanding. I felt the Lord saying to me as I was praying for you today Nicole that you are a Brave warrior and he so delights in you. He will not leave you in this mist of this. Actually he his holding you. Let him be your strength.
I have no clue where you live at this point of our lives but I live in Greenwood with my husband and two daughters. We attend a new church plant and We are seeing some amazing things as we draw closer to the father's heart. We have seen a lot of miracle's take place this past year. He is able Nicole! Here is our church website. https://revivetheworld.us/
Sunday's at 10:30.
Regardless, Know I am fighting or you in prayer!!

In Christ Jesus,
Emily